


Solace In Ritual

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Soulmates, Tumblr Prompt, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8139350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: Every year, Kili disappears on the same day -- the first day of autumn. This year, after everything that has happened, he disappears from the mountain -- scaring those that are not familiar with his yearly ritual.  After assuring everyone of Kili's safety, Fili sets out to find his brother -- and find out what this day signifies for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anathema_Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anathema_Cat/gifts).



> For the Prompt of: _"Why are you so obsessed with autumn?"_

When Kili didn’t show up for dinner in the hall, Fili wasn’t surprised, nor was he worried. When dinner was finished and others expressed concern over the missing prince, Fili shook his head and soothed them as best as he could. When it was dark and Kili still hadn’t returned, Fili pulled on his coat and reassured Dwalin that all was well and there was no need to fret.

There wasn’t. Fili had a good idea where his younger brother was and he was pretty sure that Kili had simply lost track of time. It always happened this time of the year and the others in the Company had never been around them back in Ered Luin when this day arrived. They also hadn’t witnessed this behavior last year since all of them had been on their way to reclaim Erebor so there was no opportunity for Kili to partake in the ritual he had been doing since he had been old enough to wander in the woods surrounding Ered Luin.

(Even if he had tried many a time to slip away even before he was really allowed to go anywhere on his own.)

Making sure he had his weapons about him, Fili bid the guards a good evening as he walked through the gates of Erebor. He supposed that he should be a little bit annoyed with Kili for doing this after everything that had happened in the last year, but this simple ritual was something that made Kili happy. He may not understand it, but he wasn’t going to allow anyone to take away something that was so important to his Kili.

(Besides, after the two of them had almost died at what was now being called the Battle of the Five Armies, Fili was willing to allow Kili to do anything he wished within reason. His annual ritual was something that didn’t endanger him so there was no reason to forbid it.

Not that Kili would have accepted being forbidden to slip out on this day of all days. He would have found his way out of the mountain no matter what.)

It didn’t take him as long as he had expected to find a group of trees in the growing forest that were tall enough for a dwarf to climb them. He continued to walk toward them and when he was beneath the small copse of trees, he began climbing the thickest one. As soon as he was hidden among the leaves, he found the branch that Kili was stretched out on. He maneuvered his way to the branch and settled down behind Kili, resting his back against the trunk of the tree. He moved his hands to Kili’s arms and pulled him against his chest.

“You missed dinner, _nadadith_ ,” Fili murmured. “And dessert, and the closing of the gates.”

“I’m sorry, _nadad_. I have been lost in my thoughts.” Kili leaned back against Fili, closing his eyes. “I did not notice that it had become so late.”

The two sat in easy silence, hidden from anyone on the ground, until Fili kissed the top of Kili’s head.

“You know, you have done this same ritual for many years and I have never been able to get an answer to my question.”

“I would answer you anything, Fili. What question has been bothering you for so long?”

“This whole thing that you do on this day every year. Why are you so obsessed with autumn? The first day of the season every year, you slip away from all of the rest of us and stay in the trees or on a cliff for long stretches of time. This is not the first time that I have come to find you after you have managed to forget about the passing of time around you -- though, not for several years.”

Kili let out a breath and raised his hand to squeeze the arm that Fili had wrapped around his waist. “It was the first day of autumn when I realized that you were it for me, _Ekûnê_.”

“But you had been doing this for years before we pledged ourselves to each other.” Fili’s voice had the hint of confusion.

“I had known for years before I finally confessed to you of the thoughts and feelings that had been burning me alive on the inside. The changing of the leaves and the trees reminded me of how you looked in the sun and how warm you always made me feel -- even when you didn’t know that my feelings for you were more than just brotherly.” He shrugged slightly, letting his eyes slide closed. “Every year when it would get to much to bear, I would slip away and let the first touches of the season warm and shelter me.”

“But, when I found you tonight, _kurduh_ , you were not smiling. If this is the time of the year that makes you feel safe and sheltered, then why did you look so sad when I caught sight of you?”

Kili bit his lip. “There are times that the nightmares from the battle get stronger for me and that happened last night. I keep seeing you die in front of me, Fee. Over and over again I see Azog stab you and throw you from the cliff. I can’t do anything and I lose you.”

Fili tightened his arms around Kili, ducking his head to kiss his cheek. “But you did not lose me, Kili. The under armor you insisted on us wearing helped save me -- as did the magic of Gandalf and Lord Elrond when he was called. You did not lose me, _atamanel_ , and you will not. We are linked through our souls and our hearts and we will not be separated by anyone or by death.” He kissed the side of Kili’s neck. “ _Men lananubukhs mênu_ , Kili.”

“ _Menu tessu_ , Fili.”

**Author's Note:**

> **Khuzdul Used:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _nadadith:_ little brother  
>  _nadad:_ brother  
>  _Ekûnê:_ my one  
>  _kurduh:_ my heart  
>  _atamanel:_ breath of (all) breaths  
>  _Men lananubukhs mênu:_ I love you  
>  _Menu tessu:_ you're my everything


End file.
